Shorter Reads

How can I ensure my child gets the best education?

Buffy Meyrick answers a Financial Times reader question on what to do when there is disagreement between ex-spouses relating to their child’s schooling.

1 minute read

Published 2 January 2020

Authors

Share

Key information

My ex-husband and I have recently divorced. We have a son who is due to start senior school this year and I am worried that my ex-husband and I will not agree on which school our son should attend, for example whether it should be rigorously academic or more focused on a rounded education? How can we preempt any disagreement — and what happens if we cannot agree?

You and your ex-husband both have parental responsibility for your son and should both be involved in making important decisions affecting his upbringing. The steps you take in deciding his schooling should be taken jointly, so it is good to pre-empt this issue and start the conversation early.

Ideally, you would be able to speak directly to your ex-husband about this, in person or in writing, and discuss the options. Practically speaking, there should be a school that can cater to both of your preferences in terms of educational style and it is important to continue to parent together despite the breakdown of your marriage.

If circumstances are such that you cannot have a conversation together, it may be possible for solicitors to correspond on the point for you or you could consider mediation. Mediation is a voluntary form of out of court negotiation, involving a neutral third party who can assist and advise you both. Often, parties find it useful to have this structured form of discussion, held in a non-confrontational environment.

If you are still unable to agree, it would be possible to issue a court application. However, this would not necessarily be appropriate or proportionate in the circumstances, especially considering your son is at senior school age. At 11, his views will be taken into account. They will not necessarily be determinative, but they will play a part. The court begins to place much more weight on the child’s wishes and feelings at the age of 12 or 13. Therefore, the court is likely to be influenced by where your son says that he would like to go to school, assuming it is a sensible choice and unless there is a compelling reason not to do so.

So the emphasis should be facilitating discussion between you and your ex-husband well in advance of the next school year and placing your son at the centre of this discussion. You should consider your son’s best interests and the environment in which he is most likely to thrive — whether that is academic, rounded or a mixture. You and your husband should respect each other’s views and your son should have voice on the matter.

This article was originally published in the Financial Times on 2 January 2020: https://www.ft.com/content/88e468d0-e2b2-464d-bee8-4f48d1e4d540

Related latest updates
PREV NEXT

Related content

Arrow Back to Insights

Shorter Reads

How can I ensure my child gets the best education?

Buffy Meyrick answers a Financial Times reader question on what to do when there is disagreement between ex-spouses relating to their child’s schooling.

Published 2 January 2020

Associated sectors / services

  • Family and divorce

Authors

My ex-husband and I have recently divorced. We have a son who is due to start senior school this year and I am worried that my ex-husband and I will not agree on which school our son should attend, for example whether it should be rigorously academic or more focused on a rounded education? How can we preempt any disagreement — and what happens if we cannot agree?

You and your ex-husband both have parental responsibility for your son and should both be involved in making important decisions affecting his upbringing. The steps you take in deciding his schooling should be taken jointly, so it is good to pre-empt this issue and start the conversation early.

Ideally, you would be able to speak directly to your ex-husband about this, in person or in writing, and discuss the options. Practically speaking, there should be a school that can cater to both of your preferences in terms of educational style and it is important to continue to parent together despite the breakdown of your marriage.

If circumstances are such that you cannot have a conversation together, it may be possible for solicitors to correspond on the point for you or you could consider mediation. Mediation is a voluntary form of out of court negotiation, involving a neutral third party who can assist and advise you both. Often, parties find it useful to have this structured form of discussion, held in a non-confrontational environment.

If you are still unable to agree, it would be possible to issue a court application. However, this would not necessarily be appropriate or proportionate in the circumstances, especially considering your son is at senior school age. At 11, his views will be taken into account. They will not necessarily be determinative, but they will play a part. The court begins to place much more weight on the child’s wishes and feelings at the age of 12 or 13. Therefore, the court is likely to be influenced by where your son says that he would like to go to school, assuming it is a sensible choice and unless there is a compelling reason not to do so.

So the emphasis should be facilitating discussion between you and your ex-husband well in advance of the next school year and placing your son at the centre of this discussion. You should consider your son’s best interests and the environment in which he is most likely to thrive — whether that is academic, rounded or a mixture. You and your husband should respect each other’s views and your son should have voice on the matter.

This article was originally published in the Financial Times on 2 January 2020: https://www.ft.com/content/88e468d0-e2b2-464d-bee8-4f48d1e4d540

Associated sectors / services

  • Family and divorce

Authors

Need some more information? Make an enquiry below.

    Subscribe

    Please add your details and your areas of interest below

    Specialist sectors:

    Legal services:

    Other information:

    Jurisdictions of interest to you (other than UK):



    Article contributor

    Enjoy reading our articles? why not subscribe to notifications so you’ll never miss one?

    Subscribe to our articles

    Message us on WhatsApp (calling not available)

    Please note that Collyer Bristow provides this service during office hours for general information and enquiries only and that no legal or other professional advice will be provided over the WhatsApp platform. Please also note that if you choose to use this platform your personal data is likely to be processed outside the UK and EEA, including in the US. Appropriate legal or other professional opinion should be taken before taking or omitting to take any action in respect of any specific problem. Collyer Bristow LLP accepts no liability for any loss or damage which may arise from reliance on information provided. All information will be deleted immediately upon completion of a conversation.

    I accept Close

    Close
    Scroll up

    Find out about Business

    Find out about Dispute Resolution

    Find out about Individuals & Families

    Find out about Real Estate

    We are Collyer Bristow - The law firm for those that
    value individuality, creativity and collaboration.

    Legal & Pricing info Regulatory InformationAccessibilitySitemapPricing and service information

    Listen to our latest podcast: Budget Miniseries: Impacts on Families with US Connections (Part 1)

    Listen to our latest podcast: Cracking the Code on Directors’ Service Agreements

    Read our latest article: Economist, or just economical with the truth? How can employers respond to ‘fake claims’ on a CV?

    Listen to our latest podcast: Autumn Budget 2024 Special (Part 2)

    Read our latest article: ‘Promoting the integrity of the register’: The new Companies House approach to non-compliance

    ExpandNeed some help?Toggle

    < Back to menu

    I have an issue and need your help

    Scroll to see our A-Z list of expertise

    Get in touch

    Get in touch using our form below.



      Business Close
      Private Wealth Close
      Hot Topics Close